Planetary Humor

Q: Why did Galileo look at the telescope’s anus?

A: He wanted to look at Uranus, but then he got all confused, and well, then he looked at the telescope’s anus instead!

P.S. (He wished it didn’t fart but boy was he wrong!! 😉 The telescope farted right by his nose so he could smell it!! He was very flustered that day I tell you what! He did not like the stink of the fart either!!! 😉 😉 ;-))

Earth: Have you seen all of those new and very funny TVs?
Venus: What, HDTVs?
Mercury: Ultra High Definition TVs?
Mars: 4K TVs?
Pluto: Now what in the heck is a 4K TV? Does that stand for four Koopas?
Uranus: Oh Pluto, you’ve been playing far too many 3D video games!
Saturn: Geez you guys… You would think that you’ve all been playing XBOX 360, XBOX One, PS3, PS4, Nintendo Wii U and iPhone games all day long!
Jupiter: Not to mention all of those 3D bluray movies you’ve been watching! 😉

Earth: hey man, 420, have some of this!

[Earth passes Pluto a bong with some killer nugz packed up. One thing is though, the bong water is really stale and gross. It looks really dirty in the bong.]

Pluto: Oh thanks! I’m really glad we are friends!

[Pluto drinks all of the bong water in the bong and swallows it!!! Not only that, but Neptune has been using the bong as a dip spit cup for like two weeks!!!]

Earth: Ewwww!! God you are stupid!!

Pluto: I’m sorry I messed up. 🙁 Can we look past this incident and continue to work on our friendship?

Earth: Ugh…. I guess.

Mercury: Have u heard the new Funkytown Hardbodies cd?

Earth: No.

Mercury: My favorite song is “Blade Until You Fade To Ash.”

Earth: Does it look like I give a shit at all?

Mercury: Come to think of it, not really. :’-(

Venus: What did the fat, gay, retard do?

Earth: What?

Venus: Ate a cheeseburger, sucked a guy off, and went DOI!!!!!

Q.  Why was the astronaut looking for a black hole?

A.  Because he couldn’t find a white hole!!!

doink!!