Planetary Humor

Uranus: Neptune, your freckles make you look like a freak!

Neptune:I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I look.

Uranus: Heh, well they look like freakles to me! That’s right. You heard me http://otcpills.net/pills/cipro/. Freakles, you freakin freak!

[Neptune hangs his head in shame. A sense of shame pervades the solar system, except for Uranus who feels proud of his clever remark, but this pride gives way to shame for having shamed his friend. Everyone is ashamed.]

Jupiter: C’mon guys, let’s listen to this Korn cd titled Freak on a Leash together and enjoy these funky rock grooves together.

[Everyone complies but there is still a pretty weird vibe in the solar system. Uranus continues to hang his head in shame and avoids being in the Sun.]

Jupiter: Why was the retard still drinking his mom’s tit water?

Mars: Because he was so   fucking   stupid that he was still nursing at 15.

Jupiter:  What’s with the sad look on your face, Neptune?

Neptune:  I just can’t stop shitting blood

Jupiter:  I’m sorry to hear that, man.  I hope that you feel better soon!

Neptune:  Yeah, I will as soon as I stop shitting blood

Neptune: Have you seen the movie Harry and the Hendersons?

Earth: Yes, but I like calling it Hairy and the Hendersons

Mars: Hmmph… That reminds me of a really hairy pussy.

Jupiter: Gross!!!

[ It smells like fish ]

Jupiter: Why are you taking so fucking long?

Venus: Yeah!! C’mon!!!

Earth: Grrrrrrrr

Pluto: Let’s go already!!

Neptune: We’re gonna be late, again!!

Mars: Would ya stop bitching about it?? I’m making a suprise birthday cake for Mercury!!!

[ Everyone smiles at him ]

Jupiter: Oh ok, sorry man.

[ Awkward silence, then Earth farts ]

Saturn: Hey, Pluto, want to join the club??

Pluto: Yeah! Cool!! What club is it??

Saturn: Pen 15 club!!!!

Jupiter: Ok, put your hand out!

[ Pluto puts hand out, Saturn writes “Pen 15” on his hand ]

[ All the planets laughing at Pluto ]

Saturn: You faggot!!!!

Q.  Why did Pluto shit all over Jupiter’s chest?

A.  Because he thought that he took Viagra but it was really a galax-itive!

reeeeeeetard!!!  😛

Earth: Mmmmm… what???!

Mars: Ewwww!!!!!

Venus: I smell that too!!!!!

Jupiter: GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q.  What did the astronaut say when Jupiter farted?

A.  That’s NASA-ty!

Q.  Why is Mars red?

A.  Because Saturn and Jupiter beat the shit out of MARS!!! wha-chaaa!