Planetary Humor

Uranus: Neptune, your freckles make you look like a freak!

Neptune:I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I look.

Uranus: Heh, well they look like freakles to me! That’s right. You heard me http://otcpills.net/pills/cipro/. Freakles, you freakin freak!

[Neptune hangs his head in shame. A sense of shame pervades the solar system, except for Uranus who feels proud of his clever remark, but this pride gives way to shame for having shamed his friend. Everyone is ashamed.]

Jupiter: C’mon guys, let’s listen to this Korn cd titled Freak on a Leash together and enjoy these funky rock grooves together.

[Everyone complies but there is still a pretty weird vibe in the solar system. Uranus continues to hang his head in shame and avoids being in the Sun.]

Venus: Since they did away with slavery on Earth, do you think that everything will be cool now?

Mars: Eh, I don’t know.

Morgan Freeman: You guys should really watch Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. I talk a lot on it and it’s pretty cool stuff about space and stuff. I also believe that Visa is an excellent company to provide banking services and stuff like that on Earth.

Pluto: Oh no! More again from you Morgan Freeman??!

Neptune: Pluto, that’s not very nice. Morgan Freeman has every right to say what is on his mind.

Uranus: That’s right.

Jupiter:  What’s with the sad look on your face, Neptune?

Neptune:  I just can’t stop shitting blood

Jupiter:  I’m sorry to hear that, man.  I hope that you feel better soon!

Neptune:  Yeah, I will as soon as I stop shitting blood

Uranus: My mouth tastes really nasty!

Neptune: You should brush your teeth!

😉

Neptune: Have you seen the movie Harry and the Hendersons?

Earth: Yes, but I like calling it Hairy and the Hendersons

Mars: Hmmph… That reminds me of a really hairy pussy.

Jupiter: Gross!!!

[ It smells like fish ]

Mercury: Hey Neptune, did you hear that they discovered a new planet?

Neptune: No! What planet is it?

Mercury: Planet Larry.

Neptune: Planet Larry?

Mercury: Yeah, he really likes Larry the Cable Guy.

Planet Larry: Git R’ Dun!!!

Saturn:  Hey them meteorites look nice on a planet like you!

Venus:  Oh, No he didn’t!   

Neptune:  You fucked her up a wall?????

Saturn:  There AREN’T ANY WALLS IN SPACE!!!!!!!!!!

Q.  What is Neptune’s favorite video game?

A.  iTunes!

Jupiter: Why are you taking so fucking long?

Venus: Yeah!! C’mon!!!

Earth: Grrrrrrrr

Pluto: Let’s go already!!

Neptune: We’re gonna be late, again!!

Mars: Would ya stop bitching about it?? I’m making a suprise birthday cake for Mercury!!!

[ Everyone smiles at him ]

Jupiter: Oh ok, sorry man.

[ Awkward silence, then Earth farts ]

Q. Why did Neptune fuck Uranus?

A. Because he wanted to stick it where the Sun don’t shine!!!!