Jupiter: What’s with the sad look on your face, Neptune?
Neptune: I just can’t stop shitting blood
Jupiter: I’m sorry to hear that, man. I hope that you feel better soon!
Neptune: Yeah, I will as soon as I stop shitting blood
Planetary Humor
The funniest jokes in the galaxy!!
Archive for April, 2009
Why did the comet cross the Milky Way?
Q. Why did the comet cross the Milky Way?
A. Because he’s lactose intolerant!
(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...Wet mouth
Uranus: My mouth tastes really nasty!
Neptune: You should brush your teeth!
😉
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Pro-life planetry?
Q. What planet is Pro-life?
A. Earth, because it’s the only planet with life on it! The rest are probably pro-choice.
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)Loading...Hairy and the Hendersons
Neptune: Have you seen the movie Harry and the Hendersons?
Earth: Yes, but I like calling it Hairy and the Hendersons
Mars: Hmmph… That reminds me of a really hairy pussy.
Jupiter: Gross!!!
[ It smells like fish ]
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Neck!
Venus: My neck hurts!!!!
Earth: Jesus fucking Christ!! Quit bitching about it!!!!
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...What’s wrong with you?
Mars: What’s wrong with you??
Mercury: I’m fat, gay, and retarded!!
Mars: Oh ok.
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...The Earths and the Bees
Earth: Dad?
Earth’s Dad: Yes son?
Earth: Where do baby planets come from?
Earth’s Dad: Well son.. When two planets love each other very much for several trillions of years, they invite all of their friends over for a huge orgy called the Big Bang. They love each other SO much that they fuck until they explode and create lots of new baby planets.
Earth: Wow! Someday I’m going to have lots of baby planets!
Jesus: No you won’t because that’s not true, plus you’re a fucking retard!
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)Loading...Favorite Element?
Q. What’s Pluto’s favorite element on the periodic table of elements?
A. Plutonium!
(3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Why did Earth piss all over Mars?
Q. Why did Earth piss all over Mars?
A. Because he’s 71% water and he couldn’t hold it any longer!
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...