Planetary Humor

Earth: Well time to get dressed up for a funeral.

[ puts on a suit and tie ]

Venus: Whos funeral is it?

Earth: It is  a star in NGC 246

Venus: That’s sad.

Earth: But the unfortunate thing is that it is going to take thousands of years for the star to die completely.

Venus: That’s going to be a lonnnnng funeral!!! 😛

[ Earth and Uranus have on the same tie at the funeral ]

Earth: Did you hear they discovered life on Mars?

Venus: Yeah – Life cereal!!! Not living matter! Everyone knows that God only created life on Earth, dummy!!

😀

Q. Why did Venus say Earth’s crust is too thin??

A. Because he likes thick crust on his pizza!!!

Venus: What did the fat, gay, retard do?

Earth: What?

Venus: Ate a cheeseburger, sucked a guy off, and went DOI!!!!!

Jupiter: Why are you taking so fucking long?

Venus: Yeah!! C’mon!!!

Earth: Grrrrrrrr

Pluto: Let’s go already!!

Neptune: We’re gonna be late, again!!

Mars: Would ya stop bitching about it?? I’m making a suprise birthday cake for Mercury!!!

[ Everyone smiles at him ]

Jupiter: Oh ok, sorry man.

[ Awkward silence, then Earth farts ]

Q.  What is the Earth’s favorite awards show?

A.  The Golden Globes!

Earth: Mmmmm… what???!

Mars: Ewwww!!!!!

Venus: I smell that too!!!!!

Jupiter: GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q. Why was the Earth having a problem on that “lucky night”?

A. GEARTH!

Venus: Say, What’s with Neptune’s new hairstyle?

Mars: Looks kind of funny to me!!

Earth: Me too!!!

Pluto: Come on guys, we know he’s just really into sports!!!

Jupiter: That’s right, he went to Sport Clips!!!!

Q. What did Earth give Venus for Valentine’s Day??

A. Pen-us, because Venus likes items that rhyme with en – us!!!!