Planetary Humor

Q. What did the two planets do with one cup?

A. They shit into it and filled it up like a soft serve ice cream cone. Then, they licked and ate the shit out of it. After that, they puked the shit they just swallowed into each other’s mouths and also puked onto the shit filled cup. There was a close up of one planet’s mouth who swallowed a bunch of shit from out of the cup and the planet’s toungue was all brown from the floamy shit it had just swallowed.

Jupiter: Gross!!!

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Jupiter:  What’s with the sad look on your face, Neptune?

Neptune:  I just can’t stop shitting blood

Jupiter:  I’m sorry to hear that, man.  I hope that you feel better soon!

Neptune:  Yeah, I will as soon as I stop shitting blood

(2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Q. Why did the comet cross the Milky Way?

A. Because he’s lactose intolerant!

(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)

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Uranus: My mouth tastes really nasty!

Neptune: You should brush your teeth!

😉

(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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Q. What planet is Pro-life?

A. Earth, because it’s the only planet with life on it! The rest are probably pro-choice.

(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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Neptune: Have you seen the movie Harry and the Hendersons?

Earth: Yes, but I like calling it Hairy and the Hendersons

Mars: Hmmph… That reminds me of a really hairy pussy.

Jupiter: Gross!!!

[ It smells like fish ]

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Venus: My neck hurts!!!!

Earth: Jesus fucking Christ!! Quit bitching about it!!!!

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Mars: What’s wrong with you??

Mercury: I’m fat, gay, and retarded!!

Mars: Oh ok.

(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Earth:  Dad?

Earth’s Dad:  Yes son?

Earth:  Where do baby planets come from?

Earth’s Dad:  Well son.. When two planets love each other very much for several trillions of years, they invite all of  their friends over for a huge orgy called the Big Bang.  They love each other SO much that they fuck until they explode and create lots of new baby planets.

Earth:  Wow! Someday I’m going to have lots of baby planets!

Jesus:  No you won’t because that’s not true, plus you’re a fucking retard!

(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)

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Q. What’s Pluto’s favorite element on the periodic table of elements?

A. Plutonium!

(3 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)

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