Mercury: Have u heard the new Funkytown Hardbodies cd?
Earth: No.
Mercury: My favorite song is “Blade Until You Fade To Ash.”
Earth: Does it look like I give a shit at all?
Mercury: Come to think of it, not really. :’-(
Planetary Humor
The funniest jokes in the galaxy!!
Posts tagged with “Mercury”
Pube stache
Mars: Ewwww! Did you see Pluto’s mustache?
Mercury: No. He’s trying to grow a mustache?
Mars: Yeah, he looks like a white trash 13 year old kid.
Mercury: Heh, that’s nasty.
Venus: God, he’s such a tard.
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...What’s wrong with you?
Mars: What’s wrong with you??
Mercury: I’m fat, gay, and retarded!!
Mars: Oh ok.
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Planet Larry?
Mercury: Hey Neptune, did you hear that they discovered a new planet?
Neptune: No! What planet is it?
Mercury: Planet Larry.
Neptune: Planet Larry?
Mercury: Yeah, he really likes Larry the Cable Guy.
Planet Larry: Git R’ Dun!!!
(4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5)Loading...How did Venus propose to Mercury?
Q. How did Venus propose to Mercury?
A. He stole a ring from Saturn and got on bended knee and confessed his love!! awwwww!
(2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...What’s another name for the round planets Mercury and Pluto?
Q. What’s another name for the round planets Mercury and Pluto?
A. Spaced Balls!
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Our Sun
Sun: I gotta take a SHIT!! I shouldn’t have gone an ate all them hotdogs!
Mercury: Damn.
Venus: Oh no.
Sun: PhhhHHbbBBBTTTttttttttt…..spllooch…phbt
Mercury: Fuck, my new equator is all dirty now!
Venus: YOU JUST SPLATTERED SHITFLAKES ALL OVER MY MAGNETIC POLE!
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)Loading...Smells like fish, what???
Mercury: Smells like fish over here, what???
Pluto: Not over here!!!!
Mercury: That’s cause you’re all the fucking way over there you moron!!!!!
(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)Loading...What’s up with that smell on Jupiter these days?
Mercury: What’s up with that smell on Jupiter these days?
Venus: I don’t know, something smells fishy!!
Earth: Yeah, I caught wind of it too. Pee yew!!
Mars: Smells like poop to me!!!
Pluto: No, really, somebody took a dump!!
Saturn: Who pooped??
Jupiter: I just ate a bunch of shit and I’m shitting out shit that I ate!!!!
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Why doesn’t Venus make a good thermometer?
Q. Why doesn’t Venus make a good thermometer?
A. It’s not Mercury!!!!
(3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)Loading...