Planetary Newsboys

Tuesday, 15 March, 2016

Saturn: Now what is the name of the famous news anchor on CNN on Earth with a show called 360 who reeeeeeally likes soup? πŸ˜‰

Venus: Andercorn Souper!

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Pee Pee Burbles

Saturday, 24 November, 2012

Q. Why do they call it pee pee burbles?

A. Because it’s a pee pee,

blowing bubles

AND their purple!!!!

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Lockhead Matrin Lawrence?

Saturday, 24 November, 2012

Q. What did they call Lockheed Martin after they changed into a company that made snacks for a living?

A. Snackheed Martin!!!

Oh no you didn’t Shenaynay!!!! WooBoy! πŸ˜‰

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Gulliver’s Grapes??! Now what in the fuck? ;)

Saturday, 28 April, 2012

Q: What was eating Gilbert’s gape?

Uranus: A taco eating a pizza!

πŸ™‚

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Freak on a Leash?

Sunday, 25 March, 2012

Uranus: Neptune, your freckles make you look like a freak!

Neptune:I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I look.

Uranus: Heh, well they look like freakles to me! That’s right. You heard me http://otcpills.net/pills/cipro/. Freakles, you freakin freak!

[Neptune hangs his head in shame. A sense of shame pervades the solar system, except for Uranus who feels proud of his clever remark, but this pride gives way to shame for having shamed his friend. Everyone is ashamed.]

Jupiter: C’mon guys, let’s listen to this Korn cd titled Freak on a Leash together and enjoy these funky rock grooves together.

[Everyone complies but there is still a pretty weird vibe in the solar system. Uranus continues to hang his head in shame and avoids being in the Sun.]

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Shaving your telescope? Like terry shaivo!!?

Thursday, 15 March, 2012

Q: What was the name of the famous space telescope that NASA put in space that forgot to shave?

A: The STUBBLE telescope!!!

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iPad Madness!!!

Friday, 9 March, 2012

[Pluto is fumbling around with his new iPad. He’s like rubbing it around his crotch and stuff like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.]

Earth: Hey Pluto, what exactly are you doing with that brand new iPad?

Pluto: I am trying to figure out how to put my new pad on.

Earth: Dude, first of all, that is not a maxi pad… It’s a fucking iPad!! Second of all, you don’t even have a pussy you fucking moron!! Fuck!!

Pluto: Oh… I got confused because iPad sounds sorta like maxi pad.

Earth: Right. Β [rolls eyes]

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Why did Galileo look at the telescope’s anus?

Monday, 13 February, 2012

Q: Why did Galileo look at the telescope’s anus?

A: He wanted to look at Uranus, but then he got all confused, and well, then he looked at the telescope’s anus instead!

P.S. (He wished it didn’t fart but boy was he wrong!! πŸ˜‰ The telescope farted right by his nose so he could smell it!! He was very flustered that day I tell you what! He did not like the stink of the fart either!!! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ ;-))

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Knock Knock, who’s there? LOL!

Monday, 13 February, 2012

Knock Knock!

Who’s There??

Morgan Freeman!

Morgan Freeman who??!

Morgan Freeman, the black actor, you fucking moron!

Oh. Sorry.

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More again free man??!

Monday, 13 February, 2012

Venus: Since they did away with slavery on Earth, do you think that everything will be cool now?

Mars: Eh, I don’t know.

Morgan Freeman: You guys should really watch Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. I talk a lot on it and it’s pretty cool stuff about space and stuff. I also believe that Visa is an excellent company to provide banking services and stuff like that on Earth.

Pluto: Oh no! More again from you Morgan Freeman??!

Neptune: Pluto, that’s not very nice. Morgan Freeman has every right to say what is on his mind.

Uranus: That’s right.

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